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Pittsburgh Parenting Blog by Sewickley Academy

Sewickley Academy's Private School Blog

Making Mistakes Count

pipesI have taken on a home improvement project that is just outside my range of knowledge. To make matters worse, my project is renovating a bathroom, which involves plenty of plumbing. I like to take on projects and learn new things, but with a project like this, mistakes turn quickly into magnificent water fountains with all the subsequent mopping. The winter break afforded me time to work, but there I was leaving the hardest items to the last minute and working last Sunday to replace the two water supply lines in the wall in the bathroom.

My knowledge of soldering copper pipes is not extensive but I like to use the torch. So with some enthusiasm and a great deal of concentration, I began to assemble the elbows and runs of pipes to make the twists and turns to move the supply lines into the new wall. That enthusiasm quickly turned to frustration as the solder refused to melt properly, the first assemblage broke in two, and then I cut my finger.

With my wife’s words to call the plumber in my head, I carefully weighed if this was the time to give in. Had I worked hard? Yes. Had I given myself the time it took to do this job? I probably could have started earlier, but I had put in several good hours by that point. Did I want to keep going or not? This was a tough one. I knew I was ready to stop – I was bleeding now, after all – and I was probably ready to let my wife be right, but I was not quite ready to give up on the possible satisfaction of knowing I could do it myself. Plus, I had not yet used all my resources.

After a quick consultation with a more experienced friend (and the Internet), I was on my way to the store again to get more elbows and copper pipe. My patience was gone, but at least I had a few theories to test out about how to improve my results. Had I used the right flux? Had I cleaned the inside of the couplings enough? Had I positioned the joints to flow right? I set to answering these questions and soon my eagerness returned as I could sense I was figuring out how to do something that clearly had seemed beyond my capabilities a few hours earlier. Time flew by. I carried the pipes upstairs and installed them in the old wall. They looked shiny and bright now that they were connected to the much older pipes. I felt sick to my stomach as we turned the water back on in the basement. I waited for the fountain. The joints held. It had worked.

On our first morning back in school, I told this story about my own learning to help students think of their own stories they might tell in their upcoming conferences with parents and advisors. I had met the edge of what I thought I could do, I had tried really hard and still had not found satisfactory results, and I had wanted to give in. A sense of pride, personal satisfaction, and remembering to ask for help kept me going and ultimately helped me reach the goal. Still I wondered: Did I need to experience the failure part? Why hadn’t I been able to ask for help before trying and failing on my own? Perhaps that is the reality – or curse? – of being a learner. The motivation and the challenge come from the same place: wanting to figure out how to do something that I could not do on my own. If all I wanted was to get the job done, I could have called the plumber. Instead I wanted to learn how to do it, which meant I was destined to face all the messy, soggy mistakes.

This blog post was written by Sewickley Academy Head of Middle School Jeff Zemsky.

Image courtesy of familyhandyman.com

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